Friday, May 23, 2008

Trafficking Safety

51st street sees its normal amount of congestion in the morning as people commute (which, in Saskatoon, is a 12 minute drive at most) to their jobs but today it was unusually backed up. Why? Because the Saskatoon police had a check stop set up and were pulling cars over for inspection. What they were looking for, according to stories leaked to radio stations, were “safety violations”. As Source approached the check stop she observed a car having its wheel well inspected. For unsafe mud? Upon reaching the check stop she happened to be waved through without inspection. Safety profiling? That’s a new one.

There are so many things wrong with this police action. Let’s break them down.


Personally, this irks me because I can’t count the number of non-moving violations I could rack up in a sting like this. Busted out signal lights, no parking brake, faulty power steering, cracked windshield, non-functional wiper blades. Not to mention body damage and enough bullet holes that my truck could assist in a reenactment of the Battle of Batoche. They’d probably see what a threat I was to public safety and draw their guns and yell at me to exit the vehicle. Then I would stand there with my hands up while my idling truck slowly rolled into a police car.

For all the shameless ways a city makes money by fining its well-meaning citizens for violations Jesus himself probably committed in his time (leaving his sandals in a no sandal zone), this would stoop to a new low, unworthy of any city council elected by its people. This grabasstic cash cow would be eclipsed by the GDP lost by people being delayed on their way to work.

Okay, so it’s not about vehicular safety. And if you’re like me you’re probably thinking the cops received a tip or an ongoing investigation has led them to an attempt at seizing a car loaded with drugs. But during morning rush hour? I guess I’d feel bad for Bill who’s dutifully bringing the hash brick in his briefcase because it’s his week for “Bong Friday” at the office.



We don’t quite have the knack the American government has for manipulating the press with “everything is alright, go back to sleep” propaganda but this is still a pitiful attempt. We also don’t have that all purpose, hot button “T” word that can be used to front random, privacy-violating police action. This may have been more like, (police chief on phone to press core) “I dunno, tell ‘em it’s uhh, it’s uhh, safety something-er-other.”


Did I miss anything?

Friday, May 9, 2008

There's something to be said for "been there, done that"

In my random internet travels I came across the most pathetic picture ever.

Apparently, this is a picture of two 19-year-olds trying to have an 80's PARTY.


WTF? What is 80's about this party? That your jumping on your parents' couches? That you're drinking out of a lava lamp? That’s just as 80’s as the "Unbelievable" by EMF or "What's the frequency, Kenneth?" by R.E.M. they have blasting from the stereo.

The only thing 80's about this is that’s when the Oilers won all their cups. Otherwise, I think you had to have been then to get it right.

Know her ass from his elbow




Sometimes when you’re watching a cop show on tv the coroner, upon examining a skeleton, will say to the cop, “Well, the victim was female as you can tell by the ***** of the pelvic bone.” To which I always respond internally, “I can’t tell, you bastards! Show me!” So here it is: both skeletons have those looping bones at the bottom of the pelvis. The loops of the female (against the white background) seem to flare out more than the male's, seemingly "out of the way" for pushing out other humans. The female pelvis is also wider and shallower.

Inaugural entry

Not sure what to expect? Me neither. Stay tuned.

At any rate, this will be a sure-fire way to reduce productivity at work. I’m kidding, it couldn't possibly be reduced any further.

Thanks to Marianne and Kate for their inspiration through their fantastic blogs. As soon as I know how to display links to yours I will. Thanks to Lindsey for sweetly convincing me that surely someone will find what I have to write about interesting. And thanks to Mom and Dad for suggesting I have one.

Let’s see now…