Olympic Highlights

Watching olympics is more fun when drinking with family than when not.

Regarding the American gymnastics team:
"All big legs and no tits."
"Oh wait, that one has tits."
"They're sewn in as part of her uniform."

Regarding the diminutive Chinese gymnast:
"She looks like she's 4 years old."
"No. She's just small, she's actually 30."
The next Chinese gymnast appears and on the heals of joking about the Michelle/Jodi/Marv's Karen tradition of having kids as a pre-teen (during which Marv called them "sluts"),
"Here's her granddaughter."

In the swimming event a graphic appears over each swimmer's lane with their flag and name. The graphic disappears as the swimmers launch in to the pool.
"How do they pull back that tarp so quick?"

Then an ad ran for a show called "Stump the Schwab" featuring regular think-they-know-it-all sports buffs who go against a guy with an eerily encyclopedic knowledge of all things sports.
Uncle Mark: "I think I'd rather schwab the stump!"