Friday, January 16, 2009

Seasonal Affective Standard Procedure

Today it’s like summer. There’s no sting because it’s only -13.

Even this blog suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder. Which I don’t think is a disorder. It’s an order. It can be predicted and charted.

Summer: Hey, while we’re out we should also go to [another store] because I thought of something else we need.
Winter: We’re done out here. Let’s get the hell off these roads and back home and curl up under the giant blanket and wait until bedtime.

Summer: Wanna go rollerblading?
Winter: While you’re up can you get me some more needless, fattening crap to eat?

Here’s the debate, is it a disorder or just a phenomenon? I believe it is simply a procedural difference between summer and winter. The cold is undeniably debilitating, that doesn’t mean debilitation comes from within. In another example, I was reading about Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome on Wiki (Wiki suffers its share of public and pop culture scorn regarding its validity). This syndrome describes me to a tee but I’m still not convinced that it’s an actual affliction and not simply a report on observed commonalities in human behaviour. This debate is one of the stigmata Wiki suffers, at no fault to its contributors who have good intentions. Ultimately, I’m still hesitant to believe that it’s an infirmity because, if I do, I’ll resign to it, defend it and perpetuate it. On the other hand, a simple procedural change doesn’t account for why I can’t sum up enough creativity to think of anything to blog about for a month, even though I try to hold myself to strict constraints regarding not blogging about absolutely nothing for the sake of blogging. But like I said, today it’s only -13, so it’s like summer. Plus, I’m extra perky today because I got to bed early – before 2 AM! Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome sufferers (read: Delayed Sleep Phase Phenomenon perpetuators) know what I’m talking about.

Yesterday, I conquered. I broke the snowy chains and rose up from the sleepy deep freeze – with lots of help from my personal trainer beautiful girlfriend – and actually went running at an indoor track. And I did it against a scheduled beer-drinking session with coworkers. Take THAT dark winter!

7 comments:

Lindsey said...

Let's ditch this winter shit and go to Mexico!

Christian said...

Pick a date, gorgeous.

Kate and/or Mike said...

Reading a new post lifts my spirits, so thanks!

Aaron, Kate, Will and Wyatt said...

I like to count all the big words.

Chris Wilson said...

I don't know how you folks do it.

Kate said...

See? I've got this insane excitement about beating winter. My face flashes in delight when the temperatures drop and the snow starts not just falling, but plummeting to the ground. People have noticed in me. I'm kind of insane about it. I want to beat the elements and win. And every single -40 below night that I face work, the grocery store, the gas station and the freaks on the road and arrive safe at home to cook yummy chili and drink coffee? I get a high unlike any other. I WON! I WON!

I'm a freak of nature. Feel free to laugh. I would.

Kelly said...

Greetings from Minneapolis! I so feel your pain! Winter sucks and we're all stupid for not moving to beautiful San Diego!

Stay classy Canada!